i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
