she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
