I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
