i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
