Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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