the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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