As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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