a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
