if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
