I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
