im gay
i know
yea but for you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
