Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Randomize
