Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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