i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
