She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
