so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
