He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
