Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm passing your future prison.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
