So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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