Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
