It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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