I think I just saw someone hide a body.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
