Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
