We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Someone signed my nipple.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
