3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
