Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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