this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
me + whiskey = a bad person
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
