Kiss
Puke
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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