So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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