so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
