i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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