"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
