im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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