Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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