The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
