i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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