my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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