Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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