Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my liver is dry heaving
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
