I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
