from now on my penis is your penis
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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