if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
