U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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