You're so nebulous sometimes
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
