i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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