i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
