I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
