dude i'm inner monologue high
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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