i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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