Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
