TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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