The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
