Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
