guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
