dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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